Close to normal

Its hard to believe that you will be 3 in less than 2 weeks. I have so much to write about now but I am so tired. We had your fabulous Make A Wish trip this month. It was so amazing. You, well ( WE ) all had a very memorable time. I will have to blog about it when I have more time. But I must say that I am sooooooo grateful for everyone who donates to Make A Wish and Give Kids The World. Because of them, we were able to show you so many new things and create some very special memories together as a family. I wouldn't wish a sick child on anyone, and if I could give  it all back to guarantee your health I would, but I really wish that  everyone could have an experience like that at least once in their lifetime.  One great thing about the trip was while we were there, it was almost like old times. I hardly had time to worry about you. We were so busy having fun in kiddie paradise that I was able to let go of a lot of cares and just let you be a kid. (well, with lots of hand sanitizer involved) It felt like we were free for  a while. We got home at about 12:30 a.m. on Wed, and then you had clinic at 9:30 on Thurs. I could have waited until Tues, but that would be a week off of routine and I want to keep you on schedule the best that I can. Lets just GIT ER DONE! Counts are high right now but they chose not to change your doses until next month. They want to see if the recent increased dose will come into affect by then. I'm glad because your birthday is coming up and I want you be feeling as well as possible. :) Right now we are all walking on eggshells. It's steroid time again. Phew... We will only have to do steroids 4 more times. Only 4 more Vincristine injections and 2 more Lumbar punctures. Final day of Chemo is Sept 9th. then a big halt. What will it be like? I can't help but wonder. I know I will always worry but t will be nice to not have to put those harsh medicines in your little bod anymore. I still can't help but wonder how this happened to you to begin with. I wish I knew so that I could prevent it from ever coming back.  I still can't help wonder what I did or didn't do or what I  should have done better so that you never got the awful disease. As your mom I can't help but feel like I am responsible somehow. All I know is that I am going to do all that I know to do to keep you as healthy as I can at any cost. I would gladly take this from you and put it on myself if I could. I don't think I could handle it the way you do though. You are so happy and delightful and cheerful in spite of all that you endure.  I watch you every day with amazement. I want to be like you in the worst way. You love everyone and everything so freely with your big heart. It comes so natural to you.  I watch you and I try to learn. There are very few people like you. This world needs more. I hope you teach people to be more like you and  I hope you always stay this way. I really think you will. You have a very special energy about you.  I am so blessed and privileged to be your mom. It is truly an honor.
The weather is slowly getting better and soon we will be camping again. I can't wait. I know we are going to have a great summer!