Then and now

Your first haircut.....

My little baldy on her horse last Christmas. :)

Well so here I sit again. It's been a while since I've since I've posted. It's December all ready. Yikes!

We put up our little apartment sized tree up last week. I was thinking it was going to be pathetic, but once we decorated it with all the little sentimental ornaments and plugged it in, I was pleasantly surprised at how cute it turned out. It's another reminder of where we were with you a year ago. Nanna Thomas picked that little tree up for us because she knew with your counts being frightening low we weren't going to bring in a real tree and risk you getting ill from a fungus or other germs it might harbor, and I was so overwhelmed I didn't even feel like decorating. It was so sweet of her. She showed up with that little pre-lit tree and some ornaments and it was ready in about 5 minutes. The best part is that it was a cinch to put away too. And so here we are again with our cute little tree. Everyone is content with it. (I have to wonder if it haunted though. The ornaments keep moving around.) Hmmmm.

So some exciting news: Make A Wish contacted me the other day and you made a Wish Kid. They have sent you a key to the wishing room and you will get to make your wish VERY soon.

I am so excited for you. I hope you get wish for something that will make you truly happy. You deserve it. You have suffered so much at such a young age. You have been unable to communicate how things have made you feel or understand what was going on and why all of this was happening to you. And yet some how, none of it got you down. Even through the worst of it you were happy, loving, and sweet. You still grew physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. And the greatest thing is that you have taught others and helped them grow along the way. You have enlightened people and have opened a lot of doors and windows.

So many people have stepped up to the plate to make a difference because of your influence. Some (MANY) donated blood. Some are considering the bone marrow registry. ( including me)

Others have ran marathons, and did bike races, to raise money for Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I have a jersey from a man whose team thought of you all during training and throughout their race to give them strength. A man and a team you have never met. People care. Good friends have become our best friends. Family has stood by us and suffered with us.

I am meeting so many other cancer moms. They all have an incredible story to tell. It gives me strength. Sometimes it gets to be a bit much for me, I'll admit it. So much sadness. And it's hard to hear the complaints of the other children. I wonder how much you might have suffered just because you couldn't voice things to me. I'm so sorry for this. It breaks my heart to try and imagine what you have gone through. I do know this. You have always seemed very grateful for anything that I have for your care taking. I know you understood and understand still that I'm doing my best to help you. You have been very trusting and forgiving through it all. How can ever thank you for not fighting me and the doctors? I know I say it a lot, but you amaze me. You are fighting this disease, and loving everything and everyone around you.

Christmas is almost here. I'm so happy and grateful that you are here and we are able to join in all of the festivities as a whole family this year. So far it's been great. We are having a bad financial year, but we are making the best of it. The best gift we have this year is each other. Something I will never take for granted. I pray for those who are where we were last year and hope that they still are able to have a good holiday. I pray for those who aren't doing so well right now that will pull through and rebound quickly. Life is so precious, and family is invaluable. Remember that baby.

Loving you pieces

Mom